2017 BC

The Event

The Format: Teams of four playing single stroke Friday, two-ball ambrose strokeplay on Saturday and four-ball ambrose strokeplay on Sunday.

The Rules: Since slow play is a potential problem for our gangs, these rules are designed to encourage play in the right spirit and at the right pace. Teams play their chosen best ball on each shot and play preferred lies – you may place your ball half a club length (about 50cms) from where the chosen ball lies, no nearer the hole. Balls must be placed in the same cut as the chosen ball.

In the interests of fast play from tee to green, teams are NOT required to mark balls and precisely measure from the chosen ball as they play each shot. Pace of play is important so do not waste time unnecessarily. Team members can play in any order on a shot. Once on the putting green, Bushrangers should mark near the chosen best ball so each team member putts from near enough to the exact same position.

No Gimmes: Some nutter once gave someone a short putt in a Cup. This is not on under any circumstances. We are here for fun, but the golf is (slightly) serious. The Bushranger Cup is a strokeplay event (not match-play) and every ball must be holed out. You can concede putts in one-on-one matchplay, but strokeplay is the field vs the field so no gimmes.

Handicapping: Each person is assigned a handicap by the handicapper based on official handicaps and/or info supplied by the Bushrangers. The handicapper will be governed by a commitment to rewarding good play according to a player’s ability. Team handicaps for the ambrose groupings are calculated from the individual handicaps.

Playoffs: In the event of a tie, a sudden-death playoff will be conducted. Teams play together as a foursome (taking alternate strokes playing one ball). Once established on the first hole, the order is continuous and carries over from one hole to the next until the playoff is decided.

Nearest-the-Pin & Longest Drive: Will be contested on all days and, in the interests of team gloating and solidarity, any player who wins a LD or NTP wins prizes and glory for his entire team.

The Rodeo Rule: This is minimum drives for each team member and will be enforced. Each team’s individual rodeo requirements will appear on their scorecard.

A Brief History of The Bushranger Cup

The Bushranger Cup was founded in 2004 with intention of bringing a group of pals together for a weekend of golf and fun. Gents who had accumulated other commitments in their lives, were playing less golf and mates were not getting together so often. The intention of the Cup was to address this work/life/golf imbalance by establishing an event so chock full of fun and drama that it could fulfil a fellows golfing, emotional and spiritual needs for a full 12 months if necessary.

The four-man team format is intended to be a vehicle for mates to enjoy the camaraderie and fun of teaming together. Since most of the original participants did not have official handicaps, the perennial challenge of managing Bushrangers became the guiding principle for the development of the handicapping system and format of the event.

Although it has been the catalyst for the formation of Bushranger Golf and Social Golf Australia, the Bushranger Cup remains a private invitational event. The Cup has forged a reputation for remarkable moments, great drama and hilarious fun and is now, some people say, arguably the most sought after prize in the golfing universe.

The Kelly Gang - The last and most infamous of all the Bushrangers, Ned’s crusade to secede from the colony and start his own republic fell slightly short of the mark. An expert self-promoter, he always knew the importance of snappy dressing for a photo opportunity.

Ian Crotty (Crock Diddy)                Ian Steer (The Punter)
Sebastian Shand (Bastros)              Pete Solomou (Solo)

Coming off the most dramatic win in Bushranger Cup history last year, this mob having nothing left to prove and they probably won’t. After falling over the line in the most pressured-soaked playoff in the history of golf, their relative indifference to their title defence was immediately apparent when one of them (The Rose) forgot to enter the dates for The Bushranger Cup in his diary. When the spiritual leader of your tam forgets to turn up, you know, deep down in your heart of hearts, that it is not going to be your year. The bloke drafted in to replace the missing link is appropriately named as he will probably be playing a lone hand.

Form: Clearly a ceremonial entry. Here for a good time and little else.
 

The Harry Power Gang - Harry Power was the wily old lawbreaker who mentored the young Ned Kelly in the refined bush arts of horse stealing and bravely hiding from the law in the scrub.

Richard Mitchell (Saddam)                       Nick Honey (Ho)
Richard Fellner (Quigley)           Mick Van Raay (Da King)

A lot of a Bushranger Cups here. Eight between them. Eight? Wow. On face value it would seem they know how to get the job done and, hence, deserve some detailed analysis. Let’s break down those numbers. Yes, eight, but none since 2012. And not a lot of Cups wins playing together a team. Actually, none. So they won Cups playing with others. Could we be looking at a team of passengers here? All Indians and no chiefs? All puff and no pastry? All tinsel and no tree? All mortar and no pestle? All huff but no puff? All four have already been put out to stud and then made comebacks so their best looks to be behind them.

Form: As old studs that have done it all, they are to be respected. No doubt they know how to have a good time, but that doesn’t mean they are worth backing. These days they are all guts, but no glory.
 

The Stringybark Creek Freaks - At Stringybark Creek in the Wombat Ranges in October 1878, the brooding confrontation between the Kelly Gang and the police exploded into all-out war. Three police officers lost their lives and the Kelly outbreak had begun.

Michael David (Mikey D)             Greg Cousins (The Geesh)
Tim Holroyd (The Dineesh)                Brett Simpson (Simmo)

These super-freaks know have to have a good time and will always take everybody along for the ride. They have a lot going for them including having the Greatest Ambrose Golfer in the World among them. Although this title is humbly self-proclaimed, few people would disagree. Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are always right. Of course, one imagines that puts a lot of pressure on the other three. Anything less than a win is abject failure. A chain is only as strong as it weakest link, so where does that leave these blokes? They have three equally weak links – what if they all snap at the same time?

Form: Will they deliver? Unlikely. Entertain? Bet your bottom dollar!
 

The Ben Hall Gang - Originally the Frank Gardiner Gang, it became the Gilbert Gang when Gardiner was captured in Queensland in 1861. Then it morphed into the Gilbert & Hall Gang and later, the Ben Hall Gang. Their revolving-door policy remains strong to this day.

Dave Warwick (Deisal)                           Tom Tomlin (Tommy)
Fraser Gough (Dr F-Tard)                       Dave Pollock (Toto)

This mob of F-Tards have a lot to recommend their chances and I can hear the drums echoing tonight. It’s funny, because I stopped an old man along the way, hoping to find some old forgotten words or ancient melodies. What was I thinking? Anyway, he turned to me as if to say, "Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you". Of course, the wild dogs cry out in the night as they grow restless, longing for some solitary company. Hmmm. As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti. Know what I’m saying? Frankly, it's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you and there's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do. I bless the rains down in Africa. I bless the rains down in Africa. I bless the rains down in Africa. I bless the rains down in Africa.

Form: Ah, Toto. Bless you Poll. But we are not in Kansas anymore my hairy little friend. Your confused rhetoric, abject metaphors and catchy synth hooks will not help you here. Making up the numbers.
 

The Captain Melvilles - Captain Melville was a shabby small-time thief who was apprehended by police on Christmas Eve 1852 when, in a drunken stupor, he fell off his horse outside a Geelong brothel. He had aroused suspicion (and little else) among the local sex-workers by boasting to them about his illegal exploits. A real class act.

Matthew Pitt (Pw Jones)                 Ivan Jones (Long Slash)
David Morris (Son of Fridge)                Rob Lugton (Luggo)

Destiny? Well, that’s a short word, but it is also chock full of hugeness. I looked it up: the events that will necessarily happen to a particular person or Bushranger Cup team in the future. Coincidentally we are considering the chances of one such team here. And then there is Manifest Destiny which is more of a sense of mission to redeem the world by high example. Wow! Who are these guys? Ok, so one of them created this event and has won it as many times as anyone and is the writer, animator, historian and handicapper of Bushranger Golf. Another has travelled the breadth of the continent to be here, so must be the most determined bugger here. Another has the greatest winning record in a single BRG year and one is the “Son of The Fridge!”

Form: A lay down misere. The most perfectly balanced team. Ever.
 

The Aaron Sherritt Gang - Aaron Sherritt was Joe Byrne’s great mate and a trusted lieutenant to the Kelly Gang. Folklore has marked him as a traitor, but he played a delicate game of espionage pretending to be a police informant. He came undone when the cops got wise and spread rumours he had betrayed the gang. In the end, he was murdered by Joe Byrne for his apparent, but unproven, treachery.

Mark Henderson (Hendo)                            Wayne Ball (Ballo)
Nathan Smith (Babyface)                    Glen McGowan (Gowza)

If you have ever wondered what you get when you take half a team of rejects and papier-mache it together to another, almost identical, but slightly uglier, half a team of rejects, well, now you know. Both rejected and abandoned by their mates and set loose here to drift aimlessly across their own endless oceans of mediocrity. What’s more they have recently been at war in the trenches of the TMMP and may end up at each other’s throats before the weekend is out. If there is any mob here that is a risk of self-harm, it is this lot. Hardly a recipe for success.

Form: Papier-mache soldiers with origami swords. Will be recycled.
 

The Canvas Town Mob - A rare city-based mob of Bushrangers who operated in South Melbourne in the 1850s. They would knock off ships at port and then frivolously drink and gamble away their booty.

Darren Nelson (Dazzler)                           Kirk Hayward (Joe)
Ken Cattanach (Sunshine Band)                Lino Polo (Marco)

This motley crew of misfits are only making up the numbers here and, looking at their nicknames, one could easily deduce that they are probably all style and no substance which is a fancy way of saying all froth and no bubble. Let’s break it down now. One of ‘em is called “Dazzler”. Nuff said. One of them gets his moniker from Joe Kirkwood, the great Aussie golf trick-shot artist who, as a professional golfer, preferred to make his living doing circus tricks on the country club circuit rather than test his mettle in the heat of battle against his peers. And then there’s KC & The Sunshine band – hardly strikes fear into your heart, does it? And finally, there’s Marco Polo. A merchant and master self-promoter (bullshite artiste) who was thrown in jail and dictated stories of his travels to his cellmate over a 24-year period with many glaring omissions and exaggerations which was later published as a book and taken as gospel. Did I say all froth and no bubble?

Form: Their PR agents will tell you they can win but since when did the bookies or the punters listen to people like Mark Steinberg? Ignore.
 

The Captain Moonlite Gang - The devious Andrew George Scott, a man with three first names, became the infamous Captain Moonlite when he began robbing banks in the 1870s after throwing in a promising career as a preacher.

Pete Jensen (PeeJay)                 Joel Matthews (The Shatter)
Simon Lovett (Sime)                           Dimitris Lantides (Jimmy)

The semi-articulate mob of devious reprobates comes in here as the most disparate assortment of flotsam ever assembled in a futile effort of pretension vainly attempting to approximate the type of hardness and lunacy required to forge the unbreakable bond of power required to put even the slightest dint into imitating being a contender for the Bushranger Cup. What they lack in breeding, form, skill, character, temperament, ticker, wisdom, experience and ambition, they slightly make up for in couture with several snappy dressers in this unit.

Form: Will look magnificent in the mounting yard and that’s about it.