2010 Bushranger Cup Program

Michael David (Mikey Dee) - This golfing superstar and self-proclaimed Greatest Ambrose Player in the Universe, finally fulfilled his lifetime ambition last year by winning the Bushranger Cup. An event virtually invented for him, it seemed his destiny (at least to Mike) that he would win the event every year it was contested. Nothing much has changed this year, with his confidence at yet another all-time high coming in as defending champion and expecting to win again.

Steve Foxwell (Foxy) - This easy-going golf tragic has become totally addicted to the game since taking home the Bushranger Cup last year. His handicap has plummeted and he is rumoured to have done so much preparation for this event that his kids need to book a tee time in his group to see him. Saddling up for his fourth Cup, he may find the going a bit more treacherous this year as he attempts to do what no player has ever achieved and successfully defend the Bushranger Cup.

Terry Robinson (Terrance Trent) - Set his team off to a flying start last year with a brilliant eagle on a par four at the Cups on Friday and led from the front with a display of ball-striking unlike any ever seen at the Cup. The low-marker here, this unflappable character can expect his flappability to cop a stern test this week with every player in the field sure to be heckling him with a constant barrage of banter designed to knock this human gyroscope off his equilibrium.

Roger Brown (Arbeige) - As the band was tuning up on the first night Bob Dylan went electric, a lone voice in the crowd called out, “Judas!” Bob’s response was, “I don’t believe you.” With Arbeige having abandoned his traditional teammates to join The Kelly Gang this year, expect to hear this episode reprised this week with the cry of “Judas!” regularly ringing out across the fairways of the Peninsula.

Form: The words back-to-back have been heard bandied around the bookies ring, the mounting yard, the jockey’s locker room, the starter’s gate, the steward’s room, the dunnies and the grandstands of the Bushranger Cup for the past year by this precocious crew. With the lowest handicaps ever assembled in a BC team and character by the truckload, they should contend. They are desperate to prove they are genuine Champions and not just some jokers that got lucky one time.

The Aaron Sherritt Gang - Aaron Sherritt was the Kelly sympathiser-turned-double agent who was later murdered by his old mate Joe Byrne for his apparent, but unproven, treachery.

Matthew Pitt (Pw Jones) - This two-time Bushranger Cup Champion has recently emerged from a couple of years in the golfing doldrums and looks set to tear this tournament apart. Has past form with victories in the Duzzo Invitational, Jack the Hack and numerous tour events. If he finds his range with his famous short game and exquisite putting stroke, he may obliterate this field this week and create a major embarrassment for the Bushranger Cup handicapper by presenting himself with his own trophy. Again.

Nick Honey (The Hominator) - This famous man of the people and humble cult figure will grace the Bushranger Cup once again with his profound wisdom, 20x20 perspicacity and outrageous insights on golf, life, poker, the universe, fine wine and everything. Comes here after a spell, having chosen not to desecrate his form with any unholy diversion on the practice range. Will draw faith from his two previous Bushranger Cup wins and, being devoutly pious, will only exercise his powers of divine intervention when absolutely necessary.

Matthew Thomas (T-Bag) - This committed golf nut is an exquisite ball-striker and has proven he knows how to win with triumphs in the Kelly Gang Shootout, the BRG Player of the Year and the inaugural VSGCC. Making his second start in a Bushranger Cup, he has set his sights on this title and has tapered his preparation perfectly. The ideal stable foil for his three precocious teammates, he looks set to add the greatest prize in golf to his already impressive résumé.

Mick Van Raay (Da King) - Speaking of imposing résumés, this big love machine has tasted victory at the William Buckley Classic (twice) and at the Duzzo Invitational – both 2-ball ambrose events, a format where he really comes into his own. A man of quiet confidence, he enjoys rooting for himself to get up every time he tees off, which can place a heavy load on the hamstrings and sometimes gets quite messy. An aficionado of couture, is also favourite for Best Dressed at the Cup.

Form: Not favoured by the bookies this week in a field glittering with class, but capable of springing a big surprise. Definitely one to watch.

The Captain Melvilles - Captain Melville was a shabby small-time thief who narrowly escaped capture several times. He was finally apprehended by police on Christmas eve 1852 in a drunken stupor at a Geelong brothel after arousing suspicion among the local sex-workers by boasting to them about his illegal exploits. A real class act.

Ian Crotty (Crock Diddy) - Promised so much to so many for so long and delivered so little to so few for…er…so long as well.  Stormed to victory in the 2005 BC with one of the great Sunday rounds in the history of the game and has hardly raised a whimper since. May have completely lost his golfing mojo and mutterings about ambrose is a high handicappers game clearly demonstrate he has lost focus. If he gets the blinkers on and finds his groove, he will be unbeatable here.

Sebastian Shand (Bastros) - This engaging raconteur is an absolute fruitloop in a field of eccentric characters and will spice up the après golf leisure time with his most excellent conversation. His observations on a variety of subjects usually sends this correspondent in search of an intellectual ashram to reflect on the unorthodox intersection of a set of unusually juxtapositioned but mutually agreeable concepts, constants and arbitrary variables. Can also really smash a golf ball on his day as he proved at the 2005 Bushranger Cup.

Richard Fellner (Quigley) - Has won the Kelly Gang Shootout and is the reigning Bushranger Golf Player of the Year. Desperately wants to win this iconic Championship, which will leave him just a William Buckley Classic away from being the first man to complete the career Bushranger Slam. He artfully combines in perfect unison the golfing equanimity of Flight of the Conchords with the comic brilliance of Ben Hogan. Has the rather unfortunate knack of stumbling into injury problems on the eve of major championships.

Rob Lugton (The Don or Luggo) - Offers perhaps the best value to punters here this week. Relatively new to the game, he has set about constructing a solid swing and power game and is now in the process of winkling together a fine short game to match. Is still a little inconsistent, but his best shots can be outstanding. If his shabby play is covered by his team mates, he could be the wildcard in a deck of jokers that vaults this madcap combination from contenders to champions.

Form: Since this team was assembled to carry the winless Willo to his maiden Championship and then he withdrew due to injury, they are as close to an absolute certainty as you can get. Bet the whole farm.

 
Friends of Mad Dog Morgan - Mad Dog Morgan was an entirely unpleasant, undignified, bloodthirsty and unconscionable character who gave Bushrangers rather a bad reputation.  On April 11th, 1865, he was shot dead near Wangaratta after which his head was cut off and tobacco pouches were made from his scrotum.

The Captain Moonlite Gang - The devious Andrew George Scott, a man with three first names, became the infamous Captain Moonlite when he began robbing banks in the 1870s after throwing in a promising career as a preacher.

John Martine (The Narooman) - Has travelled further than any other to be here. Made the trek down from Narooma last year for his maiden Cup and struggled a little early but saw out the journey. Has good bloodlines and is a member of the Burns Social Golf Club, named for Scottish poet Robert Burns and founded to promote the holy Scottish trinity of whisky, golf and drinking. Also has some form with numerous wins in the annual VB Cup held on the NSW south coast. Was short of a gallop last year but will do better second up.

Grant Jones (Jonesie) - Joined the ranks of Bushrangers when he teed up in the mighty William Buckley Classic last October and proved himself to be a noble custodian of the bush arts of drinking, punting and golfing. Has an easygoing nature and is a pleasure to enjoy a thwack of golf with, but don’t let that fool you – he has a reputation as a big-game performer with an appetite for the spotlight. Managed the WBC journey ok but may get a shock here with the sheer volume of golf, gambling, grog, googy eggs (at breakfast), girls (well not really, but it is an alliteration) and other things, like him, that start with G.

David Xu (The uncanny X-man) - Debuted at the 2008 Cup and was caught like a rabbit in the headlights as all manner of Cup madness was simultaneously unleashed in all directions around him. This quiet man struggled to get his balance on the course early and never quite regained a firm grip on things. He has been working hard on his game and has posted some respectable results on the SGA Tour. Returns as a far more formidable prospect and much better equipped to navigate his way through 40 hours of chaotic mayhem and fun.

Dean Craig (Deano) - Made his Bushranger Cup debut in 2007 and returned in 2008. Has the dubious distinction of never having finished higher than last place. Will be looking to improve on that effort here. Appearing not to be a threat on the leader board has made him a very popular competitor among his rivals, but all that may change if he hits his straps and makes a charge this year. Can certainly golf his ball on his day and knows the region well so must be a chance.

Form: On the surface, this ragtag collection of golfing misfits looks to be making up the numbers here but if they click, they could contend.